Since this blog is about me Im going to say what’s on my mind. I have moved forward from my past, but I am revisiting this because I was moved this morning to write about it and show a perspective that some people may not have or understand. About 7 years ago I was in high school. What I’ve learned as I’ve grown is that high school is a stage of growth, learning , and the beginning adulthood. You start to notice yourself changing and becoming a young women or young male. This could be overwhelming for some. We all know in high school there are a lot of things that can effect a child’s behavior and or attitude. No one understands the situation of that particular child unless you have been in their shoes. Sometimes children project the emotions they feel on other people. They can also regress the the trauma they have been through so they don’t have to think about it until some relatable situation pops up. This is exactly what I did in high school. Sports took up so much time in my life that I didn’t have time to think about what was happening or the appropriate way to deal with it. So, yes I made some decisions that were not the best because I was trying to feel a void that I had had for quite some time. I’ve learned now that it was not the best way to deal with the emotions I was feeling. I prayed and prayed and PRAYED for God to help me and to show me answers. I never wanted to go back to that place. I was so far gone that I wasn’t sure that I would be able to come back. But, I grew. I matured. I started to understand. 5 years ago someone tried to rekindle the past decisions that I made. At first I was ENRAGED. That someone thought that they deserved to speak about my decisions on their social media or at all. Then I realized that the DEVIL is ALWAYS looking for ways to ATTACK. I couldn’t be mad at that person, why? Because the devil was using them to get to me. Im not particularly close friends with this person, for some part of me still feels like the devil has much control over them (so that would not be a healthy situation for me).
So by this time I was embarrassed that I was even upset, because God had used my situation to show me something. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. I understood that the things that I was looking for could have have been fixed with a little communication or clarity. God taught me EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, AND PHYSICAL UNITY. Wholesomeness.
He taught me how to have healthy reciprications with people because of my choices and experiences. He taught me how to love myself DEEPLY and to do that I had to understand and love the things I am ashamed of. Not because I have no remorse, but because It’s a part of who I am and I wouldn’t be the same without it. I hold myself accountable for those choices and because of it I have self-confidence, self-worth, self-respect, and self-love. I am no longer ashamed of my past because it has developed such an incredible present and future for me. This particular situation allowed me to find a healthier perspective for approaching my emotions and feelings. Now here I am unbothered by other people dipping their toes in water they can’t see through, BUT I did feel the need to share.
Just because someone sees it as humiliating, doesn’t mean you have to. DON’T TAKE THE BAIT! You can choose grow from whatever situation you are in.
I encourage everyone to own and accept their truth and be proud that you can live through it. I AM A LIVING WITNESS. 🤩
To those people who think it’s fun to “prove a point” or share someone else’s information for your own personal gain, think about the choices YOU are making and how you could effect them in ways you wouldn’t even understand (possibly because your psychological capabilities are slim). So to the all the people who tried to weight me down with old baggage, hearsay and pessimism …. WHOS THE REAL WINNER HERE? 🧐
Comments